This blogpost was originally posted by The Moonlight Shop here: Being With A Non-Wiccan
If you’re a Wiccan and you are attracted to someone who has other beliefs like she or he may be a Catholic, a Muslim, or a Protestant, is dating going to work out with that someone? Is it worth it to try to strike a balance between both your religions? Or just give up altogether and find someone who has the very same beliefs as yours?
In this time an age, it would be pretty unnecessary to hold yourself back on account of your religious beliefs (it is hard enough finding a Wiccan where you are). As long as your beliefs and your paramore’s beliefs do not clash in the fundamentals. I mean on Wicca’s end, its ethical foundation is that you abide by the Wiccan Rede and the Threefold Law. I think the major adjustment would have to come from the other person, meaning, the non-Wiccan.
There is a such a thing as compromise..
Being in a relationship, you are bringing together two people who do not agree on every little or big thing. That is the magic of compromise. Without it, the world would be a very lonely place for everyone. Compromise is meeting halfway and respecting the differences we may have with other people.
Here are some tips on dating someone who is a non-Wiccan:
If you intend to invest your time in this person, you are bound to talk about your beliefs. And this usually comes out in the early dating stage. From here, you can gauge if this person will be willing to find a middle ground when it comes to your beliefs.
Seeing someone who does not even show the slightest interest or respect in your beliefs is a bad sign. You should rethink if you want to invest your time in someone who could possibly derail you from your spiritual path of peace.
Being in a relationship with a non-Wiccan:
If you are already in a relationship with a non-Wiccan, things take a different turn. Since being together entails give and take. Is your partner willing to take part in rituals with you? Are you willing to go to church with your partner? Are there symbols your partner fears and needs to be educated on? Not being able to discuss your religion openly and without prejudice does not bode well for your relationship.
Marrying a non-Wiccan:
Marrying a non-Wiccan means discussing the marriage ceremony you will be having. Is it going to be a church wedding or a handfasting ceremony, or both? Because it is ok to do both.
Marrying means building a family. When you have kids, what spiritual upbringing will they have?
In many mixed-faith relationships, the goal is not to have your partner convert to your beliefs or to choose one religion that you both believe in, the goal is to often just to have respect and understanding. In other words, both of you do not have to believe in the same things, but you do need to respect each other’s choice to believe differently.
Tips on how to carry out a relationship with a non-Wiccan
Learn about your partner’s beliefs
As much as you want your partner to learn about Wicca, you should also do the same yourself. Pick up the Quran or Bible and really be interested in something your partner values. Basically, respecting will only end up being lip service without a backing of understanding on the subject.
Focus on similarities
Since it is obvious that your religion did not bring you together, surely there are many other things that did. Focus on those things and not on the thing that you have in common. Also, most religions, after learning much about them, have quite the similar understanding the nature of the universe. Build on those and you’ll realize you have a lot more in common than you think.
Find out what makes your partner uncomfortable
There is bound to be something that will intrigue your partner or make him or her uncomfortable. Don’t take it the wrong way and use it as a point of learning. If your partner’s eyes widen at the sight of your pentacle, then that means it’s time to educate him or her. If confessing all your sins to a priest or if covering up legs, ankle, and hair is something you find a bit extreme, then talk about it with your partner. Learn from each other because you will be living with each other.
Do not try to convert your partner
If you wanted a Wiccan partner, you should have never dated or started a relationship with your partner. Doing this is very rude and will push your partner away. This is not something that should exist in a loving and respectful relationship. You are not a missionary. You are a partner, so be one.
Do not attack your partner’s religion in fights– no matter how bad they get
No matter how tempting it gets, DO NOT DO THIS. This is something that has the same damaging effect as cheating on your partner. If you don’t want your relationship to last, then this is the perfect method. Even after the fight has blown over, doing this will make your partner lose trust in you.. And even love for you.